Lyrics from ‘This is the New Year’ by A Great Big World
Another year you made a promise
Another chance to turn it all around
And do not save this for tomorrow
Embrace the past and you can live for now
And I will give the world to you
This is the New Year
A new beginning
You made a promise
You are the brightest
We are the voices
This is a New Year
We are the voices
This is a New Year
Knowing that Ben and I were just friends. I was chatting to another guy who seemed interested in getting to know me. This was fine as Ben had made it quite clear we were just friends. So during my Christmas holidays I was chatting and texting another guy – I would tell Ben when and if it went further. Before you think, that’s pulling him along. I wasn’t. If someone tells you – that you are just friends and they are not looking for relationship; you don’t just sit around and do nothing. You move on. I was trying to and it was not for the lack of trying either. If one more guy says to me – how is it you don’t have a boyfriend – I would say I would get violent. But personally I don’t think that would help me, in any shape or form.
Anyway going back to the other guy, as I was saying he was calling me and texting me – which started the week before Christmas. He (John) had asked me when I was free over Christmas and New Year. My holidays especially over Christmas are quite busy as I have family birthdays and relatives coming over. Before you say it – Ben and I had made plans before and after my siblings had made plans. We all live our own lives but we are always there for each other.
Christmas Day – I had given Ben a present, the day of the Panto and had told him not to open it in front of his parents or family. The first thought that came into his mind was – is it a dirty present. I laughed and said no. We weren’t together so why would I give him something like that. Is that how a mans mind works? Men! Brain in the gutter and only ever thinking of one thing.
I told him to text me when he’d opened it. So I knew the text would be late.
And it was.
Ben’s reply to my present which was the new edition of the Ladybird book – Dating; didn’t go down as well as I had hoped. The boy didn’t understand! How frustrating!!!??? He then asked what was the question I wanted to ask him. I would have asked him, on the day we went to the Panto but because his parents came – I didn’t. I told him I didn’t want to ask him via text but he was becoming irritated. Eventually I plucked up the courage and asked if he wanted to go out with me. (Yes, I asked him again. Call me silly, call me stupid… call me whatever you want but as the phrase goes – The heart wants what the heart wants.)
I think he was surprised judging by his response.
This time his reply was that he wasn’t looking for a relationship at the moment. I’m not sure why. We have a relationship and we are pretty much doing all the coupley stuff without the physical side. So what on earth is stopping him. We carried on texting for a little longer and then went to bed. That was so not the Christmas Day I was expecting.
New Year’s Eve – The day before, Ben text to say he was changing his number and that he had a new phone. I think I was more excited than he was. He was finally joining the technological age. He had an ancient Nokia and upgraded to a iPhone. He asked what I was doing for New Year and I explained that my friend and I had gone out the night before as the trains run every hour on a Friday as opposed to a Saturday when they run until 1am. (Can’t remember the last train) As we had done that we didn’t get home until 4am on New Year’s Eve. For me New Year’s Eve was a quiet one.
At the same time John was also texting and asking what I was doing. He had asked me to go round to his but as I didn’t really know him, I declined. I only knew him through texts and a few phone calls that we had, had. John seemed ok by my decision and said it made sense. But we made plans to meet at the weekend.
New Year’s Eve came and went…