Mother’s Day

I apologise for not writing this entry sooner…the 2nd part of the summer term is chaotic; I’d say more so than the autumn term. Which is where you are getting to know the children and see where they are at; after having six weeks off.

Anyway the lyrics for this entry are taken from Bruno Mars – Talking to the Moon. (Just some lines)

I know you’re somewhere out there
Somewhere far away….

Talking to the moon
Trying to get to you
In hopes you’re on the other side talking to me too
Or am I a fool, who sits alone, talking to the moon?


  1. Before you say and question that it’s Mother’s Day, why on earth, are you out with Ben, who isn’t even your boyfriend?


It starts with Ben asking me to come out with him and to be honest I was a little reluctant as I normally spend the day with my mum. Even if we don’t do anything. She was happy for me to go out as we spent the day together and I was supposedly going out in the evening. The plans were still not concrete and I said that I would meet Ben and his friend Adam in London.


The funny part is that although it takes me longer to get there, I got to London before they did. And I can’t even remember where we ended up meeting. I do remember, however, where we went. To our favourite bar in Covent Garden. For a Sunday it was very empty – I knew it was Mother’s Day but I think the boys had forgotten that little fact. They were a little disappointed with the lack of people in the bar. I have to say they might have been the only men for a while. The bar actually had quite a few women. There may have even been a few couples loitering.


Cocktails were buy one, get one free as it was Happy Hour. As usual I got two drinks which lasted the whole evening. I can’t remember what the boys got. We all had work so it wasn’t as if we were on a drinking night out. We were chatting at our table when some girls (they were quite a bit younger than us and we are not that old) sat down next to us. Ben being Ben started a conversation with them. I think they were deciding whether to flirt with him or not. As the next question they asked was – “Are you two together?”


I have to say Ben jumped in first and said no we’re just friends – pointing to the three of us. I wasn’t jealous or annoyed at the fact that he had answered. I mean what else could I have said? He acts like my boyfriend when he wants to? Not the kind of answer you say to random people you hardly know. Girls who don’t know the history. Not that there was any history to be honest.


So while Ben was chatting away, Adam and I began talking about this, that and the other. Ben did cast his eye a couple of times our way but didn’t say a word. Whether he was annoyed or not; I have no idea. And to be honest, I didn’t really care. The fact that I can talk to whomever and whoever I like, is my decision not his. I wasn’t being unfair to him. I had never once said or shown in my friendship with Ben that I was jealous or that I didn’t want him talking to girls. Sometimes I think that annoys him – when girls try to chat him up or decipher whether we are a couple or not. But as I have said before – I’m not the jealous type of girl.


Anyway, from the conversations with the girls Ben was quite happy getting the attention. Before they went on their way to the Craig David concert, they made friends with a mother and daughter (who were a little worse for wear). Ben even made friends with them and had his photo taken – which Adam took. I came up with a great idea and filled Adam in. He thought it would serve Ben right. Adam had an evil streak, which I think made Ben a little wary. Eventually the girls left to go to their concert and it was just the three of us left.


After the drinks we headed out for a walk along Westminster Bridge where there had been an incident earlier on in the week. It felt surreal and sad walking along the bridge opposite the Houses of Parliament. A humbling experience – reminding us that life is short and we should take the chances when we can; as we don’t know what tomorrow brings. (Not sure if that is a quote or whether I’ve made it up somewhere along the way)


Once we had made that trip we headed home…our separate ways.


Friday Night … Beauty and the Beast part 2

The questions that keep cropping up from people, whether they are friends, family or acquaintances – is how are you not taken? Why don’t you have a boyfriend? Unfortunately I can’t answer that question and still to this day, have no idea, why? I just seem to breeze through life with lots of friends. Friends that I am proud to have; people who enjoy my company; friends who have or don’t have the same tastes as me; want to experience new things. The list goes on. But eventually we all move on as do our friends. However, saying that I am still really good friends with the girls that I met on our first day at secondary school. So we don’t see each other everyday but when we do catch up it’s like we’ve never been away. Isn’t that what friendship is about?

Anyway moving on to the story of Ben. (Unfortunately, I am still no clearer as to what we are.) One thing I know that we are still friends. Friends with deeper and meaningful feelings for each other; without either or rather Ben not admitting what he feels.

What is it that everyone can see that he can’t? People wouldn’t comment otherwise. I don’t think they would. That would be weird. Too weird.

Friday night and somehow Ben and I ended up at the cinema. Before you say anything it wasn’t a date. As usual the people at the cinema greeted us like long-lost friends. I eventually conceded and got myself a cinema card as it was costing me an arm and leg. We’d somehow managed to miss Kong: Skull Island and the only other movie on at that time was…yes…you’ve guessed it – Beauty and the Beast.

Well…well…I hear you say.

For the first time that evening, Ben seemed quite happy with the film choice. Only him. He fancied sweets – this was nothing new. As we’d already had dinner; I was full. Even for sweets. Ben gave me his puppy dog eyes when I said I wasn’t getting anything. Because I said no, he stopped himself from getting any; because he said he’s putting on weight. If you saw Ben you would not say that is the case. The boy is very, very slim. If he worked out (he swims – that’s about it; or that’s what I know he does) I am sure he’d have a body to admire. Anyway, as I didn’t argue with him – he bought himself some sweets. The irony made of the situation made me laugh. Once upon a time it used to be the girls being careful about what they ate, now it’s everyone.

Eventually we made it into the screen and found our seats; where we watched the trailers. Funnily enough they were the same ones that we had watched earlier in the week. Ben was cold so he put the hood up of his jumper (hoodie). This time I watched the film and enjoyed it. Even if I did have Ben singing in my ear. The boy had started humming from the get go when Belle comes onto the screen. I have to say I am quite used to Ben breaking out into song. He does it with every chance he gets. That’s just him. You go and see a musical movie and well I can guarantee that he either knows the words or tunes and will hum  along. Most people would find it annoying but I guess because I’ve been to quite a few things with him; it’s quite normal. Well, not normal but I am sure you catch my meaning.

Ben’s constant need to hum or sing makes – him – him.

After the movie, we headed home. I have to say I definitely enjoyed the film the 2nd time around.

This time the lyrics come at the end from the Song – How does a moment last forever? Taken from the film Beauty and the Beast 2017

How does a moment last forever
How can a story never die
It is love we must hold onto
Never easy, but we try

Sometimes our happiness is captured
Somehow our time and place stand still
Love lives on inside our hearts
And always will

Minutes turn to hours
Days to years, then gone
But when all else has been forgotten
Still our song lives on

Maybe some moments weren’t so perfect
Maybe some memories not so sweet
But we have to know some bad times
For our lives are incomplete

Then when the shadows overtake us
Just when we feel all hope is gone
We’ll hear our song, and know once more
Our love lives on

How does a moment last forever
How does our happiness endure
Through the darkest of our troubles
Love is beauty, love is pure

Love pays no mind to desolation
It flows like a river through the soul
Protects, perceives and perseveres
And makes us whole

Minutes turn to hours
Days to years, then gone
But when all else has been forgotten
Still our song lives on

How does a moment last forever
When our song lives on…

I agree with the sentiments of the song. Until next time.



Beauty and the Beast

Evermore From Beauty and the Beast 2017

I was the one who had it all
I was the master of my fate
I never needed anybody in my life
I learned the truth too late
I’ll never shake away the pain
I close my eyes but he’s still there
I let him steal into my melancholy heart
It’s more than I can bear

Well, I changed the her and she to him and he; so that it fits with the blog. It’s actually one of my favourite songs from the film.

This time, Ben text me asking if I was free in the evening and I explained that I had my nephew that evening. But as soon as someone came home I could meet him. We looked at the film times and saw that there was Beauty and the Beast playing at 9pm. Ben text saying that was good for him. I said I’d meet him at his at about 8.30; which worked for him.

I remember changing into jeans and a top (nothing fancy – why would it be?). So that I was ready for when someone came home. It wasn’t long before they did. I grabbed something to eat before I left as I didn’t fancy eating so late and movie snacks didn’t really appeal. Don’t get me wrong, I like popcorn, nachos and all the rest of it but I just didn’t fancy it. (Not a big fan of food anyway)

I was looking forward to watching Beauty and the Beast. I am a huge fan of musicals and Disney. Who isn’t? There was a time when it wasn’t cool to like Disney as a kid or as an adult. Having grown up with Disney, who wouldn’t be a fan? May be if you were seen to be cool; you would never admit to being a fan. As I’ve said before; I have no interest in what people think I should be like. I am what I am. I like what I like regardless if my friends or family don’t like it. It’s who I am.

I got to Ben’s at about 8.30 and surprise, surprise the boy was ready. He’s really not a boy anymore considering he was turning 31 this year. Sorry Ben. We drove into town and parked in the cinema car park. Well I drove. Ben does drive but very rarely and it’s only when I’ve made a fuss about driving. He then feels bad and offers to drive. I don’t mind but sometimes does the girl have to do all the hard work? In this case unfortunately; I would have to say YES. But we will address that another time.

We got our tickets and were surprised to find a nearly empty cinema. It wasn’t full by any means. Mind you it was a nine pm showing and there were no children. Not that both of us don’t like children; we do but working with them all day; you do want a break from it all. However, I was with the biggest kid I know. Ben. He still acts like a twelve-year-old. Finding our seats, we sat down to watch the trailers.

It was only when the film started did Ben let me know he didn’t know the story of Beauty and the Beast. I mean who doesn’t? He also proclaimed that he had never seen the animated version of the film either. I looked at him in disbelief. So I had the pleasure (not sure that it was) of explaining the whole film and believe me when I say – I did not enjoy the film at this point. In fact I was becoming rather irritated. And that is not normally like me. I am normally quite patient but I can tell you now Ben was on edge of being …. I’ll let you fill in the gap.

The movie ended and I was quite frazzled as I had to explain quite a lot and in the end I think that spoilt it for me. Don’t get me wrong. I liked the film but I didn’t get the chance to enjoy it. And I have to say it was all Ben’s fault.

That was the end of that outing. This entry happened on the Monday of the week. The next outing was on the Friday of the same week.


You will laugh when I explain where the lyrics are taken from. I know you’re quite used to seeing lyrics from songs you’ve heard on the radio or artists that I like. This time they are taken from a musical. (Shock! Horror! – I hear you cry.)

Aladdin – Proud Of Your Boy

Proud of your boy
I’ll make you proud of your boy
Believe me, bad as I’ve been, Ma
You’re in for a pleasant surprise

The last line is the most the meaningful as our next adventure (non-date) took us to dinner and a movie. No surprise there then. Well, there was as Ben actually agreed to go and see the movie – Logan. I am sure I have written it before that Ben is not a Marvel, DC or even Action movie kind of guy. Saying that, he has seen quite a few of them.

I can’t actually remember whether we agreed to meet up or if he or I text to see if the other was free. It was good to catch up either way. We had dinner at another eatery before going to watch our movie. I don’t know we decided to that but we did. That’s what happens sometimes with Ben and I . As I stated before, I’m quite easy-going (unless I really don’t want to do something. In which case I won’t do it.)  and to a point so is he. So him coming to watch Logan with me was a big deal as before he had always tried to go and see something else or tried to persuade me otherwise.

I had pre-warned him that Logan was quite gory and Ben said he didn’t mind. He couldn’t say I didn’t warn him. At the cinema we found our seats and settled down for the film.

There a were a few questions he asked about the movie but other than that, I think he actually enjoyed it, not that he ever confirmed or denied it. But he did say it was good and agreed it was more gory than he thought it would be. That made the two of us. It was a good ending for the X-Men character.

After the movie we drove back to his and spent the next hour or more; of a work day (might I add) chatting in my car. I can’t remember the exact topic conversations but we chatted about this and that. Well, what I mean is that we discussed work (in our case school) both his and mine. He told me about the changes happening at his and I told him about mine. The topic then moved onto the next career path move and what he and I wanted to do.

Nothing terribly exciting.

But we sat in my car and chatted for over an hour, it was only when it was nearing half eleven that I said I had to get back. Ben looked shocked and said he hadn’t realised the time; I said the same thing.

Before you ask – no he did not lean into kiss me or anything of the sort. That ship as far as I know has currently sailed or he wasn’t going to try the third time and get thwarted again. Whether our ships have sailed, it is yet to be decided.

The reason behind the lyrics (I forgot to mention) was because Ben had gone to do something or rather see something he wouldn’t normally go to watch. I thought that was an accomplishment. Doing something that you wouldn’t do is a great achievement as well as being no mean feat.

The next entry is an impromptu outing to the cinema.

February…Birthday Part 2

Let’s just say the day got even more confusing.

Lyrics taken from Blake Shelton ‘Gonna’. It makes sense once you’ve read the whole entry.

Hey, hey (Hey, hey)
Alright (alright)
Girl I’m diggin’ on hittin’ on you tonight
It ain’t a maybe, it’s hopin’
I’m wishin’ I wanna
It’s a damn right
Hold you tight, baby I’m gonna

So what’s it gonna take?
What’s it gonna be?
We can pump it on the boulevard
Or kick it in the country
Me and you, you and me,
Money back, guaranteed
Love you every night in Daytona, I’m gonna

As in my previous Birthday entry – I said we ended up in a bar in Southbank. This was agreed by all of us (and by us – I mean the girls, my friends). The sun was out what more could you ask for? We eventually found a table to accommodate us and various members of the group decided to go and buy the drinks. I asked Ben to get me some water. I wasn’t in the mood for anything else not even a soft drink or a fruit juice. He obliged. I only asked him because he was the last one to leave the table.

It wasn’t long before they were all back at the table with drinks and conversations began. His friend Sam could talk for England and was asking how I knew Ben. So I explained that I worked with a few years and we kept in touch. Sam raised an eyebrow but said nothing. I wondered what that meant. I would find later (not in this entry) what that look meant or rather suggested. Sam told us what he did for a living and how we (meaning the girls) knew each other. One of us explained we had been friends for years as we had once all worked at the same school. More alcohol was consumed; that’s what grown adults do when out and about. I didn’t add to my water. I was just enjoying my time with my friends and it was chilled and relaxing. So nothing could spoil my mood not even Sam.

We’d been by the river a few hours when we decided to head back to a bar for happy hour; where the cocktails were two for one. Ben asked me if everyone was ok walking to the bar and I assured him they were. I had asked my friends and not made the presumption that they would automatically say yes. We followed Ben and Sam chatting along the way. Being boys (men – do they ever grow up?) they walked quite a bit faster than us girls. Ben, did however, keep turning back to check and at one point even stopped and chatted.

By the time we reached the bar in Covent Garden, Cara had decided to head back home. We all had, had busy weeks and could sympathise that she wanted to go home. Lexi, Sophie and I decided to stay and followed the boys to the bar.

One word for the bar – PACKED! It was a Saturday! How we managed to find a table was anyones guess. Well, actually Ben was on the case as he could sweet talk anyone to get what he wanted. Guess what? He did find a table by chatting to some girls. Was I jealous? No – the boy can chat up whoever he wants. The table had part of a booth so I sat down with our bags and coats; whilst Sam and Ben went to get drinks and Sophie and Lexi stayed and went when they boys came back. So I wasn’t on my own. Not that it mattered.

When the boys came back with their drinks, Ben sat next to me on the booth. That was fine – and Sam sat on the stool; eying up the women in the bar. Clearly there was only one thing on his mind. Sophie and Lexi eventually came back with their drinks – they’d been at the bar a while. However, I was still drinking the two non-alcoholic cocktails I ordered when we first got there.

The girls decided to stand and dance to the music whilst I stayed seated on the booth with Ben singing along to whatever song was playing. I have to be honest; I can’t actually remember a lot of our conversations. Saying that I was telling him that Lexi was getting married in May and we were all going. We – as in all of us girlfriends. Ben then asked if he could be my plus one. My answer was a straight no. Not because I didn’t want him to be my plus one but because there were no plus ones coming. It was a small wedding. I can’t remember if I explained why – the thought was in my head; but when you are caught off guard (and I was) your mind goes blank. Well mine did.

I did chat to Lexi and Sophie as well, so don’t think I was ignoring them and I did get into a few conversations with Sam. Let’s just say he and I would never get on as bosom buddies and that’s a very hard thing to do as I get on with everyone. That’s what I have been told. At some point Ben started saying he was hungry and the girls agreed they were too. So we deciding what to do and where to go. We finally decided to stay for another half and hour before going to get some food. Sam was the only one not interested in going for food.

Ben and I ended up sitting back on the booth and he had moved closer to me than he had been all day. In fact, he had been close and touchy and feely with me all day – something he is usually not. It’s usually me that is and Ben just accepts it. Don’t get me wrong – I liked the attention he was giving me, but what did it mean? As I’ve written before talk about mixed messages. He was closer than ever – I don’t know if it was him or the alcohol to be honest. One minute we were singing along to the song and the next I know his lips were very close to mine …

Well, I just happened to catch Sophie’s facial reaction which made me turn my face. And that moment was lost.

If he had gone in for a kiss he would have had my cheek instead of lips. I asked if she was ok. It was only thing I could do. He moved back a fraction but was still very close. The chemistry was still there. It had been there for a while only Ben can’t see it; where as everyone else can. We continued to sing along to song for another 10 minutes or so before Sophie, Lexi and I decided to go and get some food. I told Ben what we were planning and he said to let him know where we were and he and Sam would catch us in ten minutes.

We left the boys and headed out to find some food. Once outside, Lexi decided she was going to head on home. Sophie and I said our goodbyes and we headed to our favourite tapas restaurant for dinner. I text and rang Ben to let him know but he didn’t pick up his phone or text back. It was only when we got to the tube station did he ring back and said he was heading back home and he had left Sam in the bar. I told him we were going to grab dinner and he was welcome to join Sophie and I . He declined. That was fine with me. Before we hung up, I remembered I had his glasses. Ben said he’d catch me sometime in the week to get them back.

Hanging up, Sophie and I headed to our favourite tapas restaurant. Our team had been playing in the FA Cup final and had won. So the restaurant was filled with quite a few supporters. The waiters remembered us and asked if we had been to the game. Both Sophie and I laughed as our outfits were not appropriate for the football.

At some point during dinner Sophie suggested I text Ben to say thanks for coming and hope he had a good time. Which I did and he replied that it was nice to meet my friends and I responded with that they liked him too. What made it weird was that – that’s a very girlfriend / boyfriend thing to do. Not a friend thing. (Sorry for using the word thing a few times)

Sophie and I got home a lot later than we planned…


A chance encounter

Obvious by Westlife (Yes – that is written correctly.)

We started as friends
But something happened inside me
Now I’m reading into everything
But there’s no sign you hear the lightning, baby

You don’t ever notice me
Turning on my charm
Or wonder why I’m always where you are

I’ve made it obvious
I’ve done everything but say it
(I’ve crushed on ya so long, but on and on you get me wrong)
I’m not so good with words
Since you never noticed
The way that we belong
I’ll say it in a love song

That’s not the whole song but it starts here…the rest of the lyrics will appear shortly.

Well, they say writers, bloggers etc make mistakes. We are human after all. This blog entry started on the Friday when I was at the pub (where I am most Fridays); even though I don’t drink. I go for the company and the social side. I was originally meant to be meeting with an old friend – Ava. We had known each since university. But at the last-minute (about 6pm on the Friday) she text me, saying she had been called into work and that she would have to cancel our catch up on Saturday. I text back saying that was fine, as there was nothing I could I do.

During this time, Ben had been trying to arrange a catch up and had let me know that he had a few hour free in the afternoon. I had originally explained to him that I would be in London and wouldn’t be able to catch up. Before the text from Ava we had decided to leave it and catch up another time. My friends at the pub were having a great time watching me with my drama unfolding. I had just finished text Ben saying we would catch up soon when Ava’s text came letting me know she couldn’t make tomorrow. I then text Ben back saying I could meet and when and where did he want to meet. My friends were now in hysterics and at the same time telling me to tell Ben why I could suddenly meet him. I explained to them that there was no point as Ben wouldn’t register the change. And if he did I would tell him tomorrow.

With that settled…I went back to enjoying my friends’ company in our local public house.

My original plan was to meet Ben and his friend at the local theatre. But he and his friend Chris said to meet them in the Subway which is / was across from the theatre. Walking to the Subway I saw Ben and another guy who I assumed was Chris. We said our hellos and I made the comment of ‘At least it makes a change from Nando’s.’ Ben raised his eyebrows at me and poor Chris didn’t know where to look. This was the first time I had met Chris. I had known about him just like he had known about me. I think Ben had forgotten that we hadn’t actually met.

As this was just a meet up / catch up, I was wearing skinny jeans, boots and a boyfriend checked shirt. Only for Ben to pipe up and say I looked nice and that he liked my shirt. I thought the comment was out of character for him. I thanked him for the comment, what else could I have done? We were upstairs eating our subways; the boys got a foot long and well I had half and didn’t even manage to finish that. Ben wasn’t surprised and made a joke where as Chris wasn’t sure what to expect. So I explained and said I don’t eat much and Ben contributed to the conversation. Was I not capable of talking?

I might have forgotten to add that I couldn’t get over how attractive Chris was. He was a little taller than Ben, had the blonde-browny hair, couldn’t tell his eye colour, broad shoulders and had the whole Superman / Clark Kent thing going on. I wasn’t ready to admit that to him just yet. But if you know me you know what’s coming up. Anyway once we had finished eating, Chris asked us what we were up to and funnily enough Ben answered.

Ben and I were going to the cinema to watch ‘Sing’. We said our byes to Chris and headed off to the cinema. We went in my car as the cinema was by the football ground. As we walked to my car Ben mentioned he was meeting Nick, Darren, Matt and a few others for a leaving do and asked if I wanted to go. He said he would check with Nick first to see if he was still going; which he did. We were in the cinema when he replied. Once the movie finished Ben said that Nick wasn’t going (as he wasn’t well) and that he hadn’t heard from anyone else so assumed it wasn’t going ahead.

Ben then asked if I wanted to go to the theatre, near to where he lives. He looked online and managed to get us tickets and so we were heading back to his for a show. Cinema and a theatre show in one day – who said it couldn’t be done? By now it had started to rain as we went back to get Ben’s car as that was still parked in the car park. I followed him home. It was definitely an experience.

The show we saw was ‘Dreamboats and Petticoats’ and I have to say it was good. All about unrequited love…the irony of it all. A great way to start my birthday week.

A chance encounter

Just to clarify, I made a mistake. I forgot to post an entry before the Birthdays Part 1 and 2. This happened two weeks before the birthday outing. I will include it before I put up Birthdays Part 2. And there was me trying to get ahead of myself. The next time I try to do that can someone tell me to slow down and think; before I do.