The tables turn

Taken from Blake Shelton song – What’s on my mind

I can’t have this conversation
Without lots of reservations on the line
If there’s a way to slip around it
Then I’m bound to get around it one more time
Honey you are so persuasive
But it makes me more evasive when you pry
You can label me elusive
But the facts are inconclusive at this time

‘Cause you can’t handle what’s on my mind
I’ve got roses growing over what you’d find
But keep on asking if you’re inclined
‘Cause you can’t handle what’s on my mind

I came across this song and if I’m truthfully honest – it describes Ben. As I’ve written before I have no idea what goes on in his head. Even after four years of knowing him. My friends that have known me for that amount of time or longer can usually guess what’s going on in my head, as well as knowing how I would react to things. In some ways Ben doesn’t really know me at all.

Am I hard to get to know? Am I hard to read? The answer is no. I’m an open book. I can’t lie. (I’ve tried and failed) Occasionally I tell the little white lie but then doesn’t everyone. But if you know me and can read my facial expressions then I’m in serious trouble.

As much as the month of May was full of movies. June was when our dynamics changed, the tables turned…are one of many phrases you could use. We went to a few movies along the way. Don’t get the wrong idea – when he asks, I don’t always say yes. I have said no and it is Ben who tires to rearrange. That is unless I initiate the meeting and to be honest it is usually Ben. If I don’t text him for a while, he will make contact first. I think the longest we lasted without texting or talking to each other was a week. And even after this entry it stays at a week.

It was a busy time at work with the SATs completed and sport events amongst other events that propped up along the way. It started at work, when I was chatting to my friend Amy about things and Ben somehow ended up in the conversation. I think I was asking for advice or regaling a story of a Ben outing. And Amy suggested that I ask him what was going on. I didn’t think anything of it.

That wasn’t until lunch time when I replayed the conversation that I had with my Amy in my head. (Yes, I do that) Whether it was a genius idea or not, I’ll let you make that decision.

I decided to text Ben saying that we needed to talk. It wasn’t a break up conversation as we weren’t in that type of relationship. But I needed clarification as to what on earth we were doing. Or not doing. Friends without the benefits. Ben’s response was talk about what? I think it then dawned on him what I was referring to and text – just ask.

I was infuriated, as this was one conversation that I wanted to have face to face and not through text or a phone call. So I text back, I’ll ask when I see you. We met up a few times for dinner or to give him music for his new iPod and even the movies. That was up until I sent the text saying we needed to talk.

The summer term in schools is probably the worst term out of them all. As previously mentioned, things crop up all over the place. So, in between catching up with Ben and working, I didn’t have time for anything else. We had a few events planned such as a risk assessment for a trip I was going to with my class and Ben had agreed to go with me. That was fine right up until the day before we were meant to go.

That night Ben text to say he wasn’t feeling well. I responded by saying not to worry about tomorrow. His reply was instant – I’ll see how I feel in the morning. To be honest I wasn’t 100% sure he would even want to go. The friendship was already changing. I know you can’t help being ill but fate or destiny had other ideas. The trip was not meant to happen.

Every time we text or spoke on the phone, Ben would always come back with what did you want to ask. And every time I deflected. Not because I wanted to but as I said before we needed to chat face to face. At one point he text stating that he knew what I wanted to talk about. So I challenged him but he never responded to that.

Eventually he stopped asking me …. that was for the moment.


Saturday night at the movies…

Oh no, I hear you cry. Yes, the lyrics for the song go something like this.

Well, Saturday night at eight o’clock
I know where I’m gonna go
I’m gonna pick my baby up
And take her to the picture show
Ev’rybody in the neighborhood
Is dressin’ up to be there too
And we’re gonna have a ball
Just like we always do
Saturday night at the movies
Who cares what picture you see
When you’re huggin’ with your baby
In the last row in the balcony?
Well, there’s technicolor and cinemascope
A cast out a Hollywood
And the popcorn from the candy stand
Makes it all seem twice as good
There’s alway lots of pretty girls
With figures they don’t try to hide
But they never can compare
To the girl sittin’ by my side


What can I say with a cinema pass, you can see as many films as you want as well as, as many times as you want and not forgetting when you want. To be honest, Ben and I went to the cinema during the week (yes after work) as well as the weekend.

Does this sound as if we are dating? The answer would be yes for most people, but rest assured we aren’t. Even though most of the staff think we are a couple including one of Ben’s friend who is the manager at the cinema we go to. Does Ben correct them? No would be the answer. Do I say something or let people assume? The answer to that is that I let people assume whatever they want. For me personally, I don’t know what to think, or feel any more. The more our friendship develops the more the lines become crossed and muddled. There are more mixed signals than before. Do I ruin the friendship that we’ve built over the last three or four years? A later entry will provide an answer. Or rather some sort of answer. However, not the final answer – well not yet I hope.

The month of April seemed to have quite a few movie releases. These included: Get Out, Boss Baby, Going in Style, Fast 8 and Unforgettable. All of which I saw with Ben with the exception of Boss Baby. I’ve seen animation, action, horror and comedy movies with Ben. But never cringed or wanted to get out as much as I did with Unforgettable. I loved the movie – a psychological thriller. In fact it was one of the best ones I’d seen in a long time. But the fact the opening is a making out scene (not that I care) and Ben and I were sitting in the back row. Talk about uncomfortable; well for me, it was more hot under the collar than anything else. I daren’t look at Ben. During those scenes my face was glued to the screen. Whether Ben noticed or not, I don’t know.

The film also discussed topics such as families and relationships. How is it that women can see what other women’s jealousy, emotions amongst other things; but men can’t? They seem to be clueless about the whole thing. Then when they are questioned they don’t have a clue what on earth you are talking about. Really, and they say women come from a different planet.

For the movie night of Unforgettable, it did happen to be a Saturday and we had parked out-of-town so there was a little bit of a walk back. I’ll set the scene and you can see where it is going. The moon was out (not quite a full one), it was calm, warm spring evening and Ben and I were walking back along the canal. The moon lit up the sky and let’s just say it was on the side of romance. The stars were out. Ben and I were walking back casually, side by side over the bridge and then onto the side streets where the street lighting took over.

We spoke about this and that and eventually got back onto the topic of the movie we had seen. I posed the question “Why didn’t the boyfriend see what was going on? Since it was right there in front of him?” Ben looked at me confused, his usual look when I ask him something out of his comfort zone. My thoughts were going round in my head and so the next thing I said was, “Are all men like that when it comes to relationships with women?” I should have stopped when I had the chance but my thoughts continued to come out. “How can men not see what’s in front of them?” (That was aimed at Ben)

I can’t actually remember what I said next or even if it was relevant. Ben mumbled something, what, I don’t know. Did I ask him to repeat it, probably not as I was now more confused than ever. I was never ever going to get a straight answer from him. Ever! The boy is a closed book when it comes to his emotions and feelings. I, on the other hand am the opposite. A very open book.

Until the next time…

Ben’s Birthday Part 2

I guess these song lyrics sum up my relationship with Ben. A little old school, but that is up to you to decide. JoJo’s single – Secret Love (part of Shark Tale soundtrack)

Boy you’re so hard to believe
Boy you’re so hard to believe

Just a friend
That’s all I’ve ever been to you
Oh just a girl
Who wants to be the center of your world
But I ain’t got much to offer
But my heart and soul
And I guess that’s not enough
For you to notice me
I’m just a girl
And I guess that’s all I’ll ever be to you
To you

(The chorus is not me at all but I can see how it would be)
I try to smile when I see other girls with you
Acting like everything is ok
But ohh
You don’t know how it feels to be so in love
With someone who doesn’t even know
My secret love

In my dreams
I see us both together constantly
Why can’t you see
This love that’s here for you inside of me
What do I have to do
For you to notice this
You look at her with love
With me it’s just friendship
I’m just your girl
And I guess that’s all I’ll ever be to you
To you


What do you see in her
You don’t see in me (don’t see in me)
Boy you’re so hard to believe
Why do you show her love
But there’s none for me
Boy you don’t make sense to me
Cause I don’t have much to offer
But my heart and soul
And I guess that’s not enough
For you to notice me
I’m just your girl
And I guess that’s all I’ll ever be to you
To you

It leads to another chorus and then goes back to the same lines:

Boy you’re so hard to believe
Boy you’re so hard to believe.

Moving away from song lyrics and on to the rest of the story.

Having got to the bar where we were meeting Sam and a friend who’d he bought along – J. As usual I was ID but the boys weren’t. I laughed as I pulled out my driving license and told the bouncer that I was actually older than the two boys I was with. Not by much but all in our thirties. The boys – Ben and Chris laughed as we headed into the already crowded bar. It was packed to the rim. I guess 2 for 1 cocktails worked on a Saturday.

The boys and I headed straight for the bar, Ben asked me what I wanted and then said if I wanted to, to go and find Sam and J, as they were at a table. I waited a while and realised there was still a long wait to be served. So I let both Ben and Chris know that I was heading to find Sam. They nodded in acknowledgement.

To be honest, it wasn’t hard to find Sam. You could spot him anywhere. I’m not exaggerating either. He’s not hard to miss and that’s putting it lightly. I went over and said hello – well I gave him a hug and a kiss and he made the introductions about his friend J. Sam made small talk and I gave non-committal answers and J watched with amusement. However, I could see Sam getting drunker and drunker. But who was I to say anything? At some point, Sam left either to relieve himself or get more drinks and I became acquainted with J.

It wasn’t long until Ben and Chris arrived back with a multitude of drinks. I’m not sure a what point Ben made the statement along the lines of a birthday kiss. My immediate response was “You’re not getting one from me.” I didn’t mean it any shape or form. It just came out. Rather I blurted it out. If it affected Ben, he didn’t show it. However, Chris, Sam and J looked at me – amused. I wasn’t lying. If I was going to kiss Ben it wouldn’t be in a crowded bar. And after my birthday incident – I wasn’t going to let happen.

During the course of the evening, I danced with Chris who was a way better dancer than Ben and I even told them both that. Ben laughed it off and I told him I was being serious. J and I chatted about everything under the sun, with Chris who joined us every so often. I found out J’s girlfriend was a teacher so we had quite a bit in common to chat about. Our conversation then moved onto the topic of Chris. (I should mention that the boys were getting drunker as the evening went on and I was the only girl in attendance.)

Somehow J and I started a conversation about Chris (I can’t even remember why) and how stated that he had the whole Superman / Clark Kent persona going on. I should tell you that Chris is quite an attractive male. He is about six two, broad shoulders, lean waist, muscles and wears glasses. Even without his glasses he has the same appeal. In fact I had told him he was better looking than Ben; which had J gasp. J was astonished that I would come out with something like that and I wasn’t drinking. Chris laughed at the statement and I came back with “It’s true”.

Our conversation was interrupted by Sam shouting “You fancy Ben don’t you?” from across the table. For once, I was lost for words. What and how could I respond to that? So I said my usual “What you on about?” “You fancy him and he fancies you!” repeated Sam, almost as if he was daring me. Daring me to do or say what, I don’t know. Chris leaned closer and murmured, “You and Ben?” At this point, I lost my nerve or rather the cool, calm, collect version of me and said the first thing that came into my head. “Ben and I are just friends!” louder than I had intended to. Chris, Sam and J looked at me as if I had lost it. Chris this time asked a different question, “Are you sure?” I looked him straight in the eye and hoped they didn’t betray what I was feeling. “Yes,” I lied. “Why do you think that?” Chris looked at me as if I was mad, “Just the way he is with you.” “We’re just friends.” I stated, knowing he wouldn’t call me out on my lie. Chris wasn’t like that.

Sam on the other hand straight out called me a liar. I could live with that. I wasn’t ready to discuss my feelings about Ben in a crowded bar with three men who were on the outside of the situation.

Ben on the other hand had missed the whole show. Well, he had originally been standing next to Sam when Sam asked me the dreaded question. But he had then miraculously disappeared. Who knows to where and with whom? I know that none of them meant to hurt me but being the only girl; I felt a little outnumbered. What did I want to do? Crawl and hide under a rock. To be honest, I wasn’t going to let one little incident spoil my mood or the rest of the evening. So I did what anyone in that situation would do and that was carry on; whether I wanted to or not. After that conversation the boys steered clear about discussing my love life.

I looked around the crowded bar and thought about chatting up a good-looking guy but for once my heart wasn’t in it. They had pretty much left me alone since I was at a table with four guys; one whom they assumed would be my boyfriend. As the phrase goes ‘Don’t judge a book by its cover’.

At some point in the evening we left and headed to Pizza Hut for dinner. Why? You ask. Who knows? Ben fancied it, I guess is a good enough answer. As it was his birthday that was all that mattered. On the way I chatted to Chris and J and was not bothered by the lack of communication from Ben or even Sam. Once in Pizza Hut we ordered and Sam had to be reminded to be quiet as he was being very loud. I somehow ended up sitting next to Sam and was glad when Chris swapped places. Although the group photo doesn’t show that.

The discussion at the table was boy heavy and as usual I sat and listened and piped up when I had something relevant to say. Ben did something that was very out of character for him. It had gone quiet and he told the rest of the table that I used to play football for a women’s side of a popular Premier League team. I am not sure why he said or did this. So while we waited for food I filled the gap by talking about football. As Ben I were at opposite ends of the table I couldn’t say much. Once the food came, silence descended at the table that was until the boys had been fed.

J who was sitting opposite was chatting about his girlfriend when he asked me “Why I didn’t have a boyfriend?” Isn’t that a million dollar question? (I know I live in the UK but the phrase is still the same). I just shrugged my shoulders from which J then asked, “Why not Ben?” Luckily I didn’t have to answer, as Sam began talking and I was glad for the distraction. It was all that was needed to get away from the situation.

Sam and J left soon after dinner. The boys and I headed back. It was going to be way past two o’clock by the time I eventually arrived home.

Did I have a great night? Did Ben enjoy his birthday? Why was I the only girl? What did the others see that Ben and I didn’t?

To be honest, Ben’s birthday just complicated things. Was I glad I went? Yes, I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.

Ben’s Birthday Part 1

The lyrics for this entry are taken from Meghan Trainor song Title. I think you’ll find that they are once again aptly chosen.

I know you think I’m cool
But I ain’t one of the boys….
No, don’t be scared that I’m gonna tie you down
I need a little more
Baby, don’t call me your friend
If I hear that word again…
If you don’t want me seeking other guys
Well, here’s what you need to know
Baby, don’t call me your friend
If I hear that word again…


Well to be honest it was almost the Easter holidays. It had most definitely been one of the most chaotic weeks leading up to the break. I was pretty much out every night until we broke up the following Tuesday. Why my establishment had the two extra days, I’ll never understand?

The week up to the Ben’s birthday festivities started with a meeting on Wednesday which was followed up with a dinner …with guess who? Yes you got it in one. Ben. By the time I got to his it had gone 6pm. My meeting finished later than intended. The following day I had Maths meeting (which wasn’t that exciting) followed by another meal out but this time it was with old work colleagues. It had been a while and I was eternally grateful to have the mid-week catch up. Then on the Friday, my siblings and I, took my mother out for her birthday. A girly evening out.

Funnily enough it was on the Friday that Ben decided to text me to confirm the times for the Saturday. Originally he had wanted to go shopping before heading into London for his birthday. That was fair enough it was his birthday and that’s what he had decided.  I was meeting him at 10am to go shopping as he needed an outfit. Fair enough…but then again he’s more of a girl than I am. I had asked him the previous week what I should wear – jeans or a dress. Want to know what the boy went for?

A dress.

Who knew?

Anyway moving on, arriving back home after a night out with my mum and sisters; Ben decided to call me. This wasn’t unusual but it was almost 10pm on a Friday night. Way past Ben’s bedtime. Well, that did depend if he was out or not. I answered wondering if he was going to cancel his plans. He didn’t cancel his plans but he did change them to meeting him later. To be honest I was actually that fussed as it gave me a little longer in bed. And after the week I had it was well deserved. Instead of meeting him at 10am I was meeting him at 1pm.

Saturday came around way too quickly for my liking. Ben had broken up for Easter on the Friday so he was ready to party and I unfortunately had work for another two days after the weekend.

I arrived at Ben’s at the agreed time – 1pm; parked my car and got into Ben’s. I know what a shocker! Ben driving. In the car he said he needed to get his hair cut at the barbers and was meant to go this morning but didn’t get up in time. So he was going to go now that I was here.

Weird…I know.

We got to the barbers and there was…you guessed it, a bit of a wait. Thankfully it was a sunny day. I think it took over an hour at the barbers for Ben to get a hair cut. Boys and hair, I will never understand. The wait was even funnier as people assumed we were a couple. And for the first time ever, I did feel like screaming. Maybe I was tired, maybe I was frustrated; maybe I was fed up of people assuming. But most of all I was fed up of Ben. But as it was his birthday I couldn’t let that thought ruin my day or his for that matter.

The barbers was just the start of the adventure. We then headed to Tesco’s (I won’t tell you what was bought there) and it’s not what you think either. Our next stop was a retail park where there was a Next as Ben had to buy an outfit. This was an experience I will never forget. I mean, how could I? Ben’s first outfit consisted of new jeans (fair enough), a t-shirt (not a bad idea) and then he wanted a hoodie (a jumper with a hood). We were heading to London. I asked him what Chris was wearing as I knew he would have something to say about Ben’s outfit. I had briefly met Chris before and knew what he was like.

Once at the til, Ben decided he had changed his mind and decided to get a shirt instead. I said that was a far better choice. As we were getting ready to go, we bumped into another friend of Ben’s – Ed. Now isn’t that a surprise, I hear you cry. I had also met Ed somewhere along the way. We made small talk before Ben realised the time and we headed back to his.

In the car, I reminded Ben that I needed to change as my attire of jeans and a t-shirt wasn’t going to make the cut for the evening. As I said before, Ben is more of a girl than me. Back at his, I asked which dress – the green sparkly one or the black lacy one. Can you guess which one he went for?

The black lacy one.

It did not take me very long to get ready as I had already showered, straightened my hair and just needed to change and put on some make up on. Ben took forever. So we were late in getting to Chris’s. He was dressed smartly and I told him about the debacle in Next for which he laughed at and replied that’s typical Ben. I agreed.

I drove us to the station and Ben got out of the car early as he needed a paper ticket as he didn’t have a wireless card. Chris and I did. Plus the fact I was wearing heels and Chris walked at my pace not 50 steps ahead. I was grateful.

I don’t know if it was jealousy, but I was pretty sure Ben was annoyed at the friendly banter between Chris and I. Don’t get me wrong – Chris is extremely good-looking. More details which will be revealed in part 2. I was very conscious that I was wearing a dress and heels; all of which is still not really me. I do get dressed up, however, I am still very conscious. All the while, I acted the same way I always do with Ben. If I flirt I don’t mean to do intentionally.

The train ride was uneventful compared to the rest of the evening.

Mother’s Day

I apologise for not writing this entry sooner…the 2nd part of the summer term is chaotic; I’d say more so than the autumn term. Which is where you are getting to know the children and see where they are at; after having six weeks off.

Anyway the lyrics for this entry are taken from Bruno Mars – Talking to the Moon. (Just some lines)

I know you’re somewhere out there
Somewhere far away….

Talking to the moon
Trying to get to you
In hopes you’re on the other side talking to me too
Or am I a fool, who sits alone, talking to the moon?

Before you say and question that it’s Mother’s Day, why on earth, are you out with Ben, who isn’t even your boyfriend?

It starts with Ben asking me to come out with him and to be honest I was a little reluctant as I normally spend the day with my mum. Even if we don’t do anything. She was happy for me to go out as we spent the day together and I was supposedly going out in the evening. The plans were still not concrete and I said that I would meet Ben and his friend Adam in London.


The funny part is that although it takes me longer to get there, I got to London before they did. And I can’t even remember where we ended up meeting. I do remember, however, where we went. To our favourite bar in Covent Garden. For a Sunday it was very empty – I knew it was Mother’s Day but I think the boys had forgotten that little fact. They were a little disappointed with the lack of people in the bar. I have to say they might have been the only men for a while. The bar actually had quite a few women. There may have even been a few couples loitering.


Cocktails were buy one, get one free as it was Happy Hour. As usual I got two drinks which lasted the whole evening. I can’t remember what the boys got. We all had work so it wasn’t as if we were on a drinking night out. We were chatting at our table when some girls (they were quite a bit younger than us and we are not that old) sat down next to us. Ben being Ben started a conversation with them. I think they were deciding whether to flirt with him or not. As the next question they asked was – “Are you two together?”


I have to say Ben jumped in first and said no we’re just friends – pointing to the three of us. I wasn’t jealous or annoyed at the fact that he had answered. I mean what else could I have said? He acts like my boyfriend when he wants to? Not the kind of answer you say to random people you hardly know. Girls who don’t know the history. Not that there was any history to be honest.


So while Ben was chatting away, Adam and I began talking about this, that and the other. Ben did cast his eye a couple of times our way but didn’t say a word. Whether he was annoyed or not; I have no idea. And to be honest, I didn’t really care. The fact that I can talk to whomever and whoever I like, is my decision not his. I wasn’t being unfair to him. I had never once said or shown in my friendship with Ben that I was jealous or that I didn’t want him talking to girls. Sometimes I think that annoys him – when girls try to chat him up or decipher whether we are a couple or not. But as I have said before – I’m not the jealous type of girl.


Anyway, from the conversations with the girls Ben was quite happy getting the attention. Before they went on their way to the Craig David concert, they made friends with a mother and daughter (who were a little worse for wear). Ben even made friends with them and had his photo taken – which Adam took. I came up with a great idea and filled Adam in. He thought it would serve Ben right. Adam had an evil streak, which I think made Ben a little wary. Eventually the girls left to go to their concert and it was just the three of us left.


After the drinks we headed out for a walk along Westminster Bridge where there had been an incident earlier on in the week. It felt surreal and sad walking along the bridge opposite the Houses of Parliament. A humbling experience – reminding us that life is short and we should take the chances when we can; as we don’t know what tomorrow brings. (Not sure if that is a quote or whether I’ve made it up somewhere along the way)


Once we had made that trip we headed home…our separate ways.


Friday Night … Beauty and the Beast part 2

The questions that keep cropping up from people, whether they are friends, family or acquaintances – is how are you not taken? Why don’t you have a boyfriend? Unfortunately I can’t answer that question and still to this day, have no idea, why? I just seem to breeze through life with lots of friends. Friends that I am proud to have; people who enjoy my company; friends who have or don’t have the same tastes as me; want to experience new things. The list goes on. But eventually we all move on as do our friends. However, saying that I am still really good friends with the girls that I met on our first day at secondary school. So we don’t see each other everyday but when we do catch up it’s like we’ve never been away. Isn’t that what friendship is about?

Anyway moving on to the story of Ben. (Unfortunately, I am still no clearer as to what we are.) One thing I know that we are still friends. Friends with deeper and meaningful feelings for each other; without either or rather Ben not admitting what he feels.

What is it that everyone can see that he can’t? People wouldn’t comment otherwise. I don’t think they would. That would be weird. Too weird.

Friday night and somehow Ben and I ended up at the cinema. Before you say anything it wasn’t a date. As usual the people at the cinema greeted us like long-lost friends. I eventually conceded and got myself a cinema card as it was costing me an arm and leg. We’d somehow managed to miss Kong: Skull Island and the only other movie on at that time was…yes…you’ve guessed it – Beauty and the Beast.

Well…well…I hear you say.

For the first time that evening, Ben seemed quite happy with the film choice. Only him. He fancied sweets – this was nothing new. As we’d already had dinner; I was full. Even for sweets. Ben gave me his puppy dog eyes when I said I wasn’t getting anything. Because I said no, he stopped himself from getting any; because he said he’s putting on weight. If you saw Ben you would not say that is the case. The boy is very, very slim. If he worked out (he swims – that’s about it; or that’s what I know he does) I am sure he’d have a body to admire. Anyway, as I didn’t argue with him – he bought himself some sweets. The irony made of the situation made me laugh. Once upon a time it used to be the girls being careful about what they ate, now it’s everyone.

Eventually we made it into the screen and found our seats; where we watched the trailers. Funnily enough they were the same ones that we had watched earlier in the week. Ben was cold so he put the hood up of his jumper (hoodie). This time I watched the film and enjoyed it. Even if I did have Ben singing in my ear. The boy had started humming from the get go when Belle comes onto the screen. I have to say I am quite used to Ben breaking out into song. He does it with every chance he gets. That’s just him. You go and see a musical movie and well I can guarantee that he either knows the words or tunes and will hum  along. Most people would find it annoying but I guess because I’ve been to quite a few things with him; it’s quite normal. Well, not normal but I am sure you catch my meaning.

Ben’s constant need to hum or sing makes – him – him.

After the movie, we headed home. I have to say I definitely enjoyed the film the 2nd time around.

This time the lyrics come at the end from the Song – How does a moment last forever? Taken from the film Beauty and the Beast 2017

How does a moment last forever
How can a story never die
It is love we must hold onto
Never easy, but we try

Sometimes our happiness is captured
Somehow our time and place stand still
Love lives on inside our hearts
And always will

Minutes turn to hours
Days to years, then gone
But when all else has been forgotten
Still our song lives on

Maybe some moments weren’t so perfect
Maybe some memories not so sweet
But we have to know some bad times
For our lives are incomplete

Then when the shadows overtake us
Just when we feel all hope is gone
We’ll hear our song, and know once more
Our love lives on

How does a moment last forever
How does our happiness endure
Through the darkest of our troubles
Love is beauty, love is pure

Love pays no mind to desolation
It flows like a river through the soul
Protects, perceives and perseveres
And makes us whole

Minutes turn to hours
Days to years, then gone
But when all else has been forgotten
Still our song lives on

How does a moment last forever
When our song lives on…

I agree with the sentiments of the song. Until next time.



Beauty and the Beast

Evermore From Beauty and the Beast 2017

I was the one who had it all
I was the master of my fate
I never needed anybody in my life
I learned the truth too late
I’ll never shake away the pain
I close my eyes but he’s still there
I let him steal into my melancholy heart
It’s more than I can bear

Well, I changed the her and she to him and he; so that it fits with the blog. It’s actually one of my favourite songs from the film.

This time, Ben text me asking if I was free in the evening and I explained that I had my nephew that evening. But as soon as someone came home I could meet him. We looked at the film times and saw that there was Beauty and the Beast playing at 9pm. Ben text saying that was good for him. I said I’d meet him at his at about 8.30; which worked for him.

I remember changing into jeans and a top (nothing fancy – why would it be?). So that I was ready for when someone came home. It wasn’t long before they did. I grabbed something to eat before I left as I didn’t fancy eating so late and movie snacks didn’t really appeal. Don’t get me wrong, I like popcorn, nachos and all the rest of it but I just didn’t fancy it. (Not a big fan of food anyway)

I was looking forward to watching Beauty and the Beast. I am a huge fan of musicals and Disney. Who isn’t? There was a time when it wasn’t cool to like Disney as a kid or as an adult. Having grown up with Disney, who wouldn’t be a fan? May be if you were seen to be cool; you would never admit to being a fan. As I’ve said before; I have no interest in what people think I should be like. I am what I am. I like what I like regardless if my friends or family don’t like it. It’s who I am.

I got to Ben’s at about 8.30 and surprise, surprise the boy was ready. He’s really not a boy anymore considering he was turning 31 this year. Sorry Ben. We drove into town and parked in the cinema car park. Well I drove. Ben does drive but very rarely and it’s only when I’ve made a fuss about driving. He then feels bad and offers to drive. I don’t mind but sometimes does the girl have to do all the hard work? In this case unfortunately; I would have to say YES. But we will address that another time.

We got our tickets and were surprised to find a nearly empty cinema. It wasn’t full by any means. Mind you it was a nine pm showing and there were no children. Not that both of us don’t like children; we do but working with them all day; you do want a break from it all. However, I was with the biggest kid I know. Ben. He still acts like a twelve-year-old. Finding our seats, we sat down to watch the trailers.

It was only when the film started did Ben let me know he didn’t know the story of Beauty and the Beast. I mean who doesn’t? He also proclaimed that he had never seen the animated version of the film either. I looked at him in disbelief. So I had the pleasure (not sure that it was) of explaining the whole film and believe me when I say – I did not enjoy the film at this point. In fact I was becoming rather irritated. And that is not normally like me. I am normally quite patient but I can tell you now Ben was on edge of being …. I’ll let you fill in the gap.

The movie ended and I was quite frazzled as I had to explain quite a lot and in the end I think that spoilt it for me. Don’t get me wrong. I liked the film but I didn’t get the chance to enjoy it. And I have to say it was all Ben’s fault.

That was the end of that outing. This entry happened on the Monday of the week. The next outing was on the Friday of the same week.