I apologise for writing another entry sooner. It has been rather chaotic to say the least; especially in the last six weeks. One more day to go and then I’ll be on a break. Well, by the time this entry is posted. It will be Friday evening and no school / work for a week. I can’t wait and I guess neither can any other teacher. They’d be lying if they said they weren’t. Saying that, either this coming week will go really quickly or really slowly. Either works for me, to be honest I’m not fussed.
The lyrics for this entry are from Pink’s song – What about us?
We are searchlights, we can see in the dark,
We are rockets, pointed up at the stars,
We are billions of beautiful hearts,
And you sold us down the river too far,
What about us?
What about all the times you said you had the answers?
What about us?
What about all the broken happy ever afters?
What about us?
What about all the plans that ended in disaster?
What about love? What about trust?
What about us?
I agree with the sentiments of the lyrics – what about us?
This entry is still one of the few left from the summer holidays. (We’ve moved on seven weeks since then.) I was looking after my nephew and it was the day I was supposed to go and meet a guy I had met online. I cancelled! And before you say anything – I cancelled with Alex because I wasn’t dressed (my nephew and I were at my sisters in London) and I hadn’t brought a change of clothes. Plus I was heading into Central London. As it was the first date I wanted to make a good impression. Don’t we all?
Anyway at lunch time I text Alex to rearrange and he was cool. We moved it to another night in the week. (That’s another story to tell)
Whilst I was at my sisters, Ben text and asked if I was free. Normally I would have said no but as I had cancelled my date, I said yes. I met Ben for about six along with his dad whom started a conversation with me. We were discussing and admiring my new car. During this time Ben had left us to get his wallet. Did I stop the conversation with his dad to acknowledge him. No because that would have been rude. So his dad and I carried on until Ben got into the front seat of my car. It was only then his dad decided to leave us to it. I don’t think Ben was expecting his dad and I to get along as we did. But we did and I think it surprised Ben.
Saying that, I speak to his parents quite easily when there has been an opportunity. Not many but there have been a few. Saying bye Ben and I left to go to the local pub.
On the way over Ben said his friend Will was going to stop by, and asked if that was ok? I know I looked puzzled. Why would I mind if his friend stopped by? We weren’t on a date – as far as I know we weren’t? Ben knows how easy-going I am (and get your minds out of the gutter) and how I’m not fussed about a lot of things. I guess things would be different if we were dating. But as this was not a date (as far as I could tell) Will coming would not be a problem.
Ben and I got their first and we sat in a booth. His ulterior motive was to use my laptop and the free wifi in the pub we were at. I did sit next to next to him for no other reason than to help him use my laptop. So we were sitting closer than usual. To be honest, I was a little shocked as he seemed to making the moves towards something. What, I don’t know. We spent the time joking, searching the internet and just catching up.
Throughout the evening, I did text two friends asking whether or not I should tell him about the two up coming dates I had. One said I should and my other friend said no; only if it comes up. I decided to play it by ear. Will came along and as I had met him before we were chatting about work and how he was looking forward to working with Ben in September.
At some point in the evening Ben I were chatting and as I said earlier, he was closer to me before. Remember I am the touchy feely one. But that evening it was Ben. In fact he was a different person. He was flirty and his whole demeanour was just different. (I can’t find other suitable words – so I apologise.) At one point in the evening Ben said “I love you.” Any other time I would have had a come back but as I am so unsure of what and how our relationship is. I just laughed it off and said yeah, yeah and carried with whatever Ben had asked me to do. Will who had heard the exchange looked confused and just stared at the two of us; before getting up to get some drinks.
I don’t know what Ben wanted me to say or did he want me acknowledge what he had said. I personally would have felt a little uncomfortable with either to be quite honest as currently I have no idea where our relationship stands. (Even now)
Through out the rest of the evening there was playful banter between Ben and I. Seeing this, Will decided to make his escape and high-tailed it out of there. Ben and I stayed for a little longer and then after went for a drive.
Isn’t that what couples do? Ideas / comments on a postcard. 🙂
I’ll leave it there. Until the next time…